living a GOOD life with you.

2009-12-19T16:04:00.002+08:00

Thanks for the wonderful journey blogger :))

Relink!

2009-11-07T18:41:00.002+08:00

All I know I've trully made the right decision.
Expect the unexpected. U have urself to blame.
I'm still smiling my way through like before cos i know I'm being truthfull to myself..
The least you can do is to respect yourself if you can't respect others..
my hunch is true all this while.. really dissapointed..

ps : and again another cut to heal and pain to swallow..

i'm really hoping thad this will be the last test
but i know it won't stop..
things won't always go the way you want it
eventhough deep down u're hoping for the best
and you know you're being sincere
be it in everything..

ps : headin to billy's again later on to boost myself... :))

2009-10-26T15:53:00.001+08:00

Create a MySpace Playlist at MixPod.com

2009-10-19T17:05:00.005+08:00

Hellavu Weekend :))
ps: more on facebook..

2009-10-17T20:06:00.005+08:00

rehearsal's getting tighter and harder
beat's gettin faster and the day is coming nearer
the top 3 of every side awards is annouced
results will be up over at the Pre-Judge Ceremony
Singapore Expo Hall 5 a day before Final
here it is ;

Ladies

Most Photogenic
Faezah
Diyana
Salina (disqualified )

Best Smile
Faezah
Radziah
Dynna

Best Catwalk
Shazwana
Maya
Dynna

Best Personality
Dynna
Salina
Radziah

Guys

Most Photogenic
Suhaimi
Khai
Kadir

Best Smile
Aimm
Azim
Kadir

Best Catwalk
Aimm
Khai
Faizal

Best Physique
Aimm
Shahreen
Kadir

Best Personality
Syed
Suhaimi
Hambali

Mr/Ms Congeniality
Dynna Syafiqa

Congratulations to Dynna and the rest
All the best!
And most importantly, we had lots & lots of fun!
love ya guys! :))

' whadever i design and pass it to you
you better carry it good
it's the matter of how you portrait it '
- Zul Radi

ps : i was hit with this question for Q&A
' Who is more skilled in managing money-issues in a relationship , women or men? '
comment's from suffiyan , a lecturer in nus
and also the Q&A editor
' Excellent content but you have to make it shorter '
Zul radi ,
' I agree with suffiyan but you have to stop shaking '

LOL!
i was totally nervous!
i'm soo not lookin forward for top 6
i'm not ready for Q&A
and my confidence dropped tremendously
-________-

2009-10-17T19:50:00.004+08:00

and soo.. we did head for cafe del mar again..
told you it's just nice to be there
and again this time we're from rehearsal
cab down from boutique
after which we had late dinner
at Al-Ameen over at Bukit Timah
drove down to sentosa around 12 plus
passby town and all
very the feeling2.. LOL!
and oh! not forgettin!
it was a virgin trip to sentosa for thad poor boy
and soo.. let me be the first to bring you there.. :))
he reacted very 12 years old
despite his 21 years of age.. =D
great night indeed

ps : bitch , what's next? don't forget whad we've plan okay!

even so.. it's really hard for me to fall..
it really take much guts for me to open up..
i'm really not ready for anything..
some may say you're a rebound , revenge &
even worse , lust...
but all i can say is.. i'm not expectin it to come
i'm better off alone..
or i just had enough?
or it's still irreplacable?
or i'm just too fussy?
fcuk it!

2009-10-17T19:28:00.005+08:00

first and foremost , congrats to my babe
after the third round of tp she finally made it
and so we did plan up for her virgin ride
to boost her confidence and also ride us out!
hahaha! rented a car and sooo...
i'm just proud of her.. :))

she's plannin to get a car of her own
woke up and she was beside me
busy choosin which car she's hooked on -___-
very irritation..
' mentang2 dah dpt agreement dari mak
aku tidor pun kau nak kacau! ' LOL!

2009-10-17T19:12:00.016+08:00

head over to cafe del mar with kaki's
cab down right after rehearsal
it was my virgin trip
all i can say is it wil be my next port
very romantic , peaceful , beautiful
at the sametime u can save while relaxin
beds , shed , dining , pool..
marvellous!

before thad had rehearsal at homeclub

preparation for videoshoot
choreography , mime-ing and expressions
very the expressi.. hahaha!
thad's whad we will be doing though

2009-10-10T07:10:00.013+08:00

was in the mist of updating
when i was hit real hard on the face

totally lost of concentration &
totally lost the mood to continue
will publish it when done & when the courage is back
i still do have my weakness
i'm sorry..

ps : i don't need a chance seriously, but i just need a night with you
nevertheless, i'm cool :)
someone, if you realise i've been avoiding you
giving you thousands of reasons
mainly, i just cant do it
i just dont have the faith and trust
cos i knw the circles wont stop
so before it gets even longer
it's best that i save myself before anything else..

2009-10-04T04:48:00.013+08:00

i choose this dress for her.. :)

ps : i seriously miss the ush ush balls crew badly.. bleaurgh..

2009-10-03T22:43:00.005+08:00

Selamat Hari Raya!
( okayyy.. eventhough it ended long ago for me. -__- )
i'm soo gonna pay back next year! :))

trust me i'm seriously packed with commitments
sadly , half of it for my dearly everyday routine
infact 90% of it.. whad else if not serving the nation..
but honestly , i'm enjoying every bits and pieces of it..
despite the shits and all , afterall its for every individual benefits..
damn lots of things i've learned and experienced
eventhough its only the 3rd week
and yes , its alrd the 3rd week.. how fast time flies..
bookin in again tmrw night and will be bookin oud on thurs
4 days off plus pay day.. how beautiful.. :)) i'm soo waitin..
ippt cat test a great one for me.. have to maintain till bmt..
i soo need the 200 bucks and 1 year free from ippt.. :))
i know i can.. the only thing thad brings me down sometimes
definitely have to be the waking up time..
poor danial and zul they will always be my victim of cranky-ness. :))
on top of all thad.. i have my own aim..
maintain the standard and get gold for ippt..
complete soc in a fastest time..
complete 24km route march
sispec course.. and lastly..
gonna make both my parents teared out of joy during POP. :)
i will work hard for it cos i know i can do it... * insya-allah..

ps: the funny thing is out of all people why must it be you?!
you must be someone special. you're my strength , my breakfast ,
my lunch , my dinner , my saviour , my joy , my pain killer
but yet to be my everything. :)) YSH. =D

one incident thad i really can't forget thad zul fell on his back while we're playing
catching in the toilet. and it was after lights off.. serve him right though for
being mean to danial during training...

Danial : Aimm aku mcm malas sey nak lari..
Me : Hahaha. 'Chao Keng' lah..
Danial : Nak 'Chao Keng' ape sey..
Zul : E'eh kau nie , kau kan actor takkan tak pandai act..
Me : Laugh and walk off..

fuckin bitchin thad idiot.. hahahaha...
military life isn't thad bad afterall..
having the best company and platoon..
plus crazy bunk mates from diff backgrounds..
and of course.. him.. :))
whad more can i ask for? =D

on the other hand..
Dewa Dewi 2009 Finals is on Sunday 25th October..
informed my sc , ps :) , pc and pass down to rsm..
they're considerin about letting me bookin in late on thad day..
however , the worst i will have to book in the next day at 0800 hrs..
very the mornin.. but better than nothing..
and i have to pay them back with good conducts and performance
however , i have to miss the rehearsals cos it falls on a weekday.. sigh..
i will try my best to make it happened for both military and competition
i mean i must give it a shot for both.. :)

ps : its kinda surprise for me thad azim is in without us knowin
whereby its suppose to be fauzul.. hmm..
bottomline , i just gonna have fun!
like whad mum said : ' kalau ader rezeki insya-allah '
i'm glad she's supporting me from the back..
be it in anything.. being there during the semis..
same goes for dad.. it's really the pay back time..
and be a responsible son.. for my own good and for them..

the people thad i need now and for long..
Parents
Camp Mates
DewaDewi Mates
Eza Chanelia
Buza Baybeh
and of course , YSH. =D

i'm missin my crazy bunch of rage peeps
like really really missin hell..
LOL! not forgettin melissa!
meetin up soon..
other than thad...

Goodnights!
lalalalala ~

2009-09-10T20:05:00.002+08:00

Will Be Right Back!

new home , new environment and new buddys
Amoy Quee Camp , Infantry 2SIR

ps : Selamat Hari Raya To All! :)

2009-09-10T19:54:00.004+08:00

a lil note for my every day life soul
take good care of urself
it's gonna be damn akward thad i've to miss a day without you
the one who understands me big time
never fail to be on the dot regardless of any risk
wish you all the best!
especially in you know i know! :)
bring me some extraodinary good news aite!
nyehah! love ya blood!
gonna miss ya big time..
better take care of my baby monster okay!
not forgettin my mollie monster too!
wuhooo! =D

2009-09-08T16:47:00.005+08:00

i've been feeling so restless like as if something is so incomplete
i've been tryin to figure it out but i just can't seem to have the answer
i totally hate this feeling as i know it will affect me in some ways
been tryin to occupy my time , make myself busy
just to make the feeling go away and make it like as if nothing is affectin me
however , its still hanging on expectin me to find the answer
but somehow , somewhere i know i totally miss the lights that i used to have
i totally lost the feel of being in love
even worse people have to teach me every now and then to react
whad should i do? i'm totally lost.. i guess i'm back to square one
another four years of singlehood till this empty spaces is filled , again...

three more days left and there you go..
Eza Chanelia , Fauzul , Khai and both of my parents will be sendin..
i'm lookin forward to it but somehow not..
whadever it is , let's get it done and over with! (:
tommorrow is wednesday , let's happy happy..

ps : Finals of DewaDewi falls on a Friday. Hopefully i get to book out
I'm stressin about the rehearsals and all. damn..

alright.. gotta get ready..
headin town to meet mell and zhy..
till then loves.. (:

2009-09-07T22:35:00.016+08:00

Saturday Night with loves
Home.Starbucks.Geylang

2009-09-07T22:22:00.002+08:00

Joan : I'm sure to meet you before this Friday! (:
Eza Chanelia : Ush Ush Balls! LOL!
Passerby : Thanks. (: But you are?
Hazel : Yeap i did went to Geylang and i wore Green. (: I'm so sorry i guess i didn't realise. Cos i don't usually smile if i don't know them. Hehe! Plus it's damn packed. Really sorry! Anyway , my Finals will be on 30th October. It's on a Friday. Will update soon okays? (:
Eza Chanelia : Yes i know babe! I love you too! Nyehah!

2009-09-07T21:42:00.004+08:00

Kindly click to enlarge

I really need help to those whose interested to replace me
As I will be damn packed with NS and preparin for my Finals
Please do drop me an email ASAP together with your portfolio
You can drop me a msg at my tagboard too
Will explain more details. Thanks! (:

2009-09-04T04:05:00.005+08:00

yaaaaaaw! -____-
okay only some people knows how 'puake' i am this ramadhan
only for this year okay! mind you.. ((:
and yeap one thing for sure , this year's raya isn't for me
for the first time i'm not eager at all to get a new suit
well , i've alrd got one.. eh wait! two! ready for me nyehah!
both are of the same colours with designs somemore! (:
on top of that , it's my lovely fav colour , Green!
* go figure babes * nyehah! * grinsss

headin for party next week
gonna get totally booze up
i seriously miss thad
eventhough i was totally screwed few days back
we totally got booze up and screwed .. LOL!
thad's whad happen when you're too on playin ' heart attack'
when you're high high in the sky.. geez!
i'm missin the UshUsh Balls Crew.. LOL!
and thanks to Eza Chanelia for those ' Balls '
BITCH

ps : Eza Chanelia saved the night with the Vodka Peach

2009-09-04T03:07:00.005+08:00

Buza : Awww! Come on! I know you love me! =D

Joan : Hahaha! Sexy right? It's Naked by Taio Cruz. ((: Misses Babe! Muacks!

2009-09-04T03:02:00.003+08:00

' I lost my Role Model & You lost your Biggest Fan '

ps : which is me...

2009-09-01T13:12:00.008+08:00

Sheila : Hey! Thanks alot yeah! Make sure to be there okay! Updates will be up soon! ((:

Shai : Shuddup lah! LOL! I'm NOT fat okay! I only gained few kg's. Unlike you! HAHA!

Lera : Hey! Yeap I still using the same number. You know which one right?

Nazrul : Hmm.. I bought it at Cotton On at Tampines Mall for $39.90. (:

Joan : HAHAHA! Gundu reminds me of... LOL! And , YES! Meet up soon biatch! ((:

Eza Chanelia : Hello Hate Tagger. I know where you are now.
Be Careful the Airport Police will hunt you. Nyehah!

2009-08-31T17:24:00.000+08:00

ps ; saturday night

2009-08-31T16:43:00.008+08:00

Trust No One But Yourself

I never hated you for not loving me
But i hated you for making me fall for you
I know i shouldn't be dreamin about you
To make it worst it's three days in a row
Thad's how much i'm missin you
I just couldn't have the final goodbye
Cos all the roads lead me back to you
How i wish you wasn't where you are now
When we both first lay our trust
But i have to understand how bad you want it
You have my full support which i always did
Youtube saves it all whenever i needed you so bad
But obviously , it's never enough

ps: LifeCrisis07

2009-08-30T12:34:00.004+08:00

Sunday , 30th August 2009 , 0530am

* tell me it didn't happen.. pleaseeee! *

it's tryin to show something but not this way please
one after another , my love ones gettin hurt
be it physically or emotionally
whad have they done to deserve this?
yes, things happen for a reason
but whad if it gets to overboard?
i believe it's a test of everything from him
but.. till when? till it get's a lil too late?
for god sake , i don't wish to lose anymore of them
it's enough. totally..
i jolly well knows it won't stop
but not to them please...
i plead..

ps: in times like this , i really need someone to be there
but eventually , the pillows sees it all
i just couldn't accept that it happened to them
thad i totally broke down and i have to let it all out to sleep
i believe i can face this.. i hope..

- HIATUS -

2009-08-27T10:47:00.006+08:00

' let them have a million words about you
let them have a million ways to bring you down
let them have a million joy to your failure
at the end of the day , they are never in your shoes
and that's when they will never understand ' - him

it's really difficult to have someone
that will love you when you're at your worst
; trust me

okay people it's really annoyin you know
it's my decision if i want to get to know you or not
once i rejected you from my list plse stop addin again
will you? and i don't entertain msges
i will only entertain which i feel like it
i would appreciate if the activity of grabbin pics will stop
at the sametime!
i'm not any dating centre
or whatever centre you call that
get that clear picture in your head!
-_____-

' nyah! kau imagine kalau Victoria Beckham judge DewaDewi eh?! '
inside joke.. LOL!
besar peh siak sedara aku

2009-08-21T04:24:00.002+08:00

my type of queen ((:

2009-08-21T01:47:00.004+08:00

"Best friends are like diamonds, precious and rare.
False friends are like leaves, found everywhere."

soo yeap a friend like you can be found anywhere
acting like as if you care
the word 'bestfriend' is what you feel like saying
but definitely not something that you would sacrifice
a moment of happiness only when you're single
afterall a friend is just a space of boredoom to you
feel like having someone to accompany?
that's when we will be alert to your existence
other than that.. it's best that we call ourselves , strangers
i'm glad you're happy. but we will just wait and see
how far it will be.. ((:

"A best friend is like a four leaf clover, hard to find and lucky to have. "

i'm trully lucky to have you as a friend
obstacles after obstacles , one after one
but you still stood there waiting
waiting to be one that would be my saviour
you never fail to trust me , never fail to be there
yes, all i can say is , you're even more
precious than a diamond it could be
it's been 5 years now. how i wish i've met you earlier
eventhough you're the cousin of a friend of mine
but you understands me better than anyone else
including my very own friend and your truly cousin

"Good friends are like stars
you don't always see them, but you know they are always there.
And , someone with whom you dare to be yourself."

the words tell's everything. everything about you
we are just comfortable with each other
you accept me for who i am
and most importantly , understands me big time
thanks to my dearly friend, i met you
you're my craziest bitch and definitely my trully bestfriend

this might be random but i've learned to choose
the best for myself and my future
as i live more to come , more friends to discover
and definitely i'm still keepin the old true friends
i'm just appreciating what i'm having now
it's nice to meet but it's even nicer to know
the real and the truth. ((:
will you be there with me all long , friend?
i wonder who...

2009-08-19T06:04:00.003+08:00

you know sometimes it's really hard to prove that you can
maybe certain people it's easy for them
but as for me it's like the most threatening thing to do
yes, the word move on and be strong is easy to say
but doing it is just.. ergh! ( only god knows )
whenever i tend to try, i will end up fooling myself
and i jolly well know that's gonna happen and yes , that's the truth
i'm totally lost. i don't have what i used to have. it's all gone
you took it away with you. far away...
i guess i will just have to wait.. 10 years time..
i have no other choice.. none..
all i can do now is to just wait for the enlistment..
and this is what i'm trully feelin right now
yes, i'm smillin , yes i'm happy... but afterall i'm not as happy as ever

2009-07-29T02:49:00.012+08:00

Stranger In My House
030807

2009-07-21T17:44:00.003+08:00

' you were there , you spoilt it. you spoilt my fun. you totally did. you had to do what you did. you had to make me feel like shit. '

yes i was there. without havin a clue that you would be there. you went missin. you came when you feel like it. and you go as and when you like. and all i got to know you were there because of me?! totally bullshit. -.-" look whose the one who spoilt his own night? i didn't ask you to be there. or even i'm expectin. if your intention of being there is bcos of me then all i can say is that i'm really sorry. and i do appreciate the thought that you have. if it's true. afterall, it's long goneeee. till then.

remember a long time ago
i actually had a huge crush on u
but since u r mael's bf, i had to respect it
n i was disappointed in myself
tt i almost tried to seduce u
knowing the fact tt u r mael's
yeah.. still, i find u cute n have always had tt tiny crush for u
but of cos i don't go around talking abt it
cos one, mael. he's a dear friend
ok nvm, it won't happen anws between us i know tt
so let's just pretend i didn't say anitin
pardom me n my honesty
anw, this is getting paiseh n awkward

that's totally LOL! okaaaay
was kinda shocked and surprised
and to you, i appreciate your honesty and guts!
nyehahaha! afterall, we will just have to see laaaa.. =))

if only i knew thad you were just acting to be gay
or you are just acting to be straight?
whatever to thad...
please search for your true soul bfore you decide to get to know me okay?
only idiots will still go hugag over you but i don't
i have to turn you down. bitch. go lick pussy. =))
afterall, it was a great night at DblO..

you just have to turn me down
i'm always a bad bf to you , always
how far i would go will still be nothing to you
i love you more than life
if only you could see it
but i bet you won't
but i'm glad that you're still around
being fren's with you is better than not having you at all
or being my bitch should i say
cos you know i love you no matter whad..
right babe? =)

and now whad matters is the world is spinnin right round
like literally round and round and round
god damn! i'm seriously not expectin it to happen btwn us
it's like you can't even imagine that its happenin
almost 24 hours together
i will really feel so awkward everytime you look into my eyes
i have to turn you down million of times
i'm just too scared to fall deeper
you gave me the trust but i'm not ready to give mine
it's better if we just stay this way. okay?
i appreciate the effort that you gave
i just want you to know that i'm not faking anything
neither am i cheatin on you
and i'm sorry that i can't bring you along
but like what i've promised you we will meet tonight okay?
see you..

ps; i'm missin my routine very much
i sooo need to hit st james soon
dblo is gettin even more pathetic
and yeah i will do my passport soon okay?
but please you just go ahead if you decide to go jb
don't need to wait for me.. please..
and i miss you too..

i'm missin this ppl sooo much
lernie, fai , zai , liyana , azlina , fiza , ina , fas , didi , my dancemates and mell.
meet up soon pleaseeee ppl!

2009-05-14T01:14:00.002+08:00

schedule been really-really tight
barely had a rest
i swear i miss my sleep Big time
tmrw having a private sale
and therefore 8am - 10 pm , GONE!
this week and next week is really tight
sat will be having a photoshoot with vega and elly for Zara
the followin monday another photoshoot for Toni&Guy with ashley
and all that doesn't include my workin timing's
drop dead gorgeous. -.-"

i've been thinkin and stressin
i'm soo not lookin forward for next wed
will be having a photoshoot for Calvin&Klein
BUT! from what i heard after the meetin
75% will have to model for their new brief's and undergarment's
i swear it's sooooooo Not cool. seriously ~
majority asked me to give it a shot
BUT it's a Big NO for me
but again , the $$$ will just fly...
fcuk. totally ~
will have to make a decision bfore wed!
ergh ~

2009-05-10T23:52:00.005+08:00

the whispers of your name will never go away
and work is seriously not helping
when i have to face that long sleeve shirt of yours everyday
the very first expensive shirt that you bought with your own pocket money
i still remember clearly. springfield it is

Now if i could,
I'd capture moments for you.
And if permitted I'd write stories for you.
Line by line. Thought after thought.
You would see what I'm made of.
I'm the lines that you read in between.
I'm the icing on the cake.
I'm the sidewalk
but I'm not complete.

something thad i could thought of
thad very bored times at work
those words cameby ~
something thad i'm really hoping for to live again

california no more , cortefiel it is

happy belated to you guys
Leeane , Ayeen and Zulaiha

toddles!

2009-05-01T19:11:00.005+08:00

it has come to a certain extend when things get overboard

stories fly high when nothing is achieved

the feeling only god knows how killing it is

but it will never get deeper when decision is made

a lesson to be learnt and a stronger roots to grow

negative prospects will never fail to shoot

congrats to those who manage to make it bloom

but not for long when nothing is proven

the fantasy have yet to face the reality

and the facts have yet to face the truth

okay not gonna brag much as the schedule is kinda tight now
got a new haircut and hair colour yesterday! bleaurgh~
hahahaha. loving it =DD
and yeap new colleague, new environment and new challenges
it's great indeed. but the early mornin call and the journey is totally dreadfull
but all i can do now is to stay positive
and think about the good pay offered
nyehahaha ~ but was hopin for fitness first though
but! california fitness is not too bad too
afterall , work work work. =)

and 11 more days to come but i'm sooo not lookin forward to it
it's a no big deal when he's not around to celebrate it with me anymore
last year's celebration was the best....
if only....
nvm.. that wish will never come true...

11TH SEPTEMBER 2009
AMOY QUEE CAMP , 11AM
2SIR INFANTRY REGIMENT
finally ~

2009-05-01T18:57:00.009+08:00

24th April 2009

had a great night. =))

2009-04-14T22:50:00.002+08:00

its really funny when ppl felt the pinch when they just can't be bothered anymore
whereby actually it wasn't for them at all. weird
and to you , im sorry if my previous post hurt you in anyway , but it wasn't for you at all
LOL!

anyway , congrats fiza for the great job offer!
hmmm. when's mine? *crossin finger*
hopefully soon. insya allah

ps : i hope you do like it
nothing much but just something that i would like to share it with you
imy..

2009-04-13T01:25:00.003+08:00

'if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best'. =))

every of your chapter are doomed to fail
i have to agree

ps: even so, its just the beginnin...
ilu still..

2009-03-14T13:31:00.005+08:00

i've let go something that i shouldn't be letting go
i'm just a total bitch/bastard
you did nothing wrong but i choose to end it
but i'm glad that you understand , big time
i really appreciate that you're still willing to accept me as a friend
eventhough i gave you a total nightmare
and not only that but you still do care like always
one thing that i really can't deny , i still do miss you as much
i'm trully sorry , really really sorry

ps : please don't wait for me anymore
just move on and lead a happy life
i know it's hard but i believe you can

and on the other hand
i gave up on the innocent one for this particular soul
it's kinda early for me to reveal who that is
sooner or later i hope
but not too high or too much
one thing , no doubt i just can't help but to fall back again
majority knows i will never say NO to this person
and i bet i'm just a loser to say it's true
i hope no more games and all the shits anymore
if u're scared of the history , its my worst nightmare , fyi
let's just wait and see , time will tell but i hope not too long
half of my life are at waste , mainly , cos of waitin
and so i never wanna waste anymore precious moments of my life
cos i wanna go through it with you , baby

2009-03-02T10:17:00.006+08:00

pictures from mdis dance comp
street x's

2009-03-02T09:54:00.006+08:00

okay i've been partyin like nobody's business lately

i'm too tired to elaborate

so let the pictures do the talkin , okay?

=))

okay there's whole lot more
but i really gotta go!
till then! =)

* i have to really stop thinking about you

2009-02-28T15:30:00.004+08:00

NOTE!

okaaaaay guys ,

i will not be using BOTH of my number at the moment

due to certain reasons which totally sucks

so anything just email me or

send me a message through friendster

wtf.

okay so don't text or call

cos it will only overworked your fingers

sheeesh!

2009-02-28T15:10:00.003+08:00

it's not that i'm tryin to keep all those shits from you and make you suffer

but i'm totally scared that you might think the otherwise

of me tryin to ruin your happiness

deep inside i still do care about you. sigh

if only i can be there by ur side
to wipe your tears and held your hands

even for just one night

2009-02-27T03:11:00.005+08:00

okay first and foremost i know it's kinda late but!
i would like to wish this particular person
a very happy birthday!

Happy 20th Birthday
Ismael Khan Suratte Yusope!
=))

2009-02-22T17:26:00.005+08:00

it's really complicated. i mean very..
my intention with you is just friends
mainly , close friends
but i just don't understand why you tend to take it differently
million times i told you i'm not ready and i do have my reasons
you can jolly well disturb others life and all BUT not mine please
and yes we can be close but not more than that
or maybe , i'm not interested

what a small world. really
i mean the world is big but singapore is small
okay wth. like what i've mention
indeed it's very small
the incident at mdis was really shocking
i really didn't expect it to happen
i'm really sorry if you're unhappy if i were to contact with ur ex
BUT i didn't know that his ur ex when he first ask for my number
but no worries baby , i still remember what you told me
the bedok reservoir park. remember? =))
and please don't be demoralise by the result
you really did great. remember what i've told you
dance is not everything anyway. it's just temporary
i will lead you through what they call it , LIFE
at the sametime , all the best for your tarian show

i'm really sorry i can't be there

but i will fetch you later okay? i promise

muacks!

and i have to agree with dee
life's gettin better and fresher!
i'm lovin it! =))

2009-02-22T17:09:00.002+08:00

it was really tense knowin that it was the very first collaboration
different style, different backgrounds but indeed one heart
it may be a short term knowin each other but i have to agree it's already a family
and yes we made it. ain't any top 3 but it's the glory to almost reach the victory
like what they said , soon it will be. it will never stop. it has just began..

next up , ATTITUDE.
street x's will stay. no add on but just the same people

groove in the west & stardust is up
Dee , Elly , Vega , Faridah , Tapa , Wawan and Aimm
remember the night? and yes we can do it! =))

2009-02-21T01:53:00.006+08:00

' things are getting too stiff till it get's harder to breath '

In Loving Memory
1955 - 2009
20th February 2009
2159hrs
Haryati Bte Daud

' I know you're watching me there and i promise i will never dissapoint you '
- you gave me the strength to carry on -

2008-10-23T13:11:00.000+08:00

and to you im sorry i've been rejecting the meet up that you wanted

to tell the truth , im not ready..

nevertheless , thanks alot for being there for me. =))

at the sametime , all the best for your o's

2008-10-23T12:14:00.001+08:00

' never once i thought a song could hit me so bad '

I used to think that I wasn't fine enough
And I used to think that I wasn't wild enough
But I won't waste my time tryin' to figure, out
why you playing games, what's this all about
And I can't believe,
You hurted me
I met your girl, what a difference.
What you see in her
You ain't seen in me
But I guess it was all just make-believe.

Oh, Love
Never knew what I was missin'
But I knew once we start kissin'
I found
Love
Never knew what I was missin'
But I knew once we start kissin'
I found
found you

Now Ya gone, what am I gonna do
so empty
my heart, my soul. can't go on
Go on without you
my rainy days fade away when you,
come around, please tell me baby
, why you go so far away

Why you go...Love
Never knew what I was missin'
But I knew once we start kissin'
I found
Love
Never knew what I was missin'
But I knew once we start kissin'
I found

I found you(who would have known)
I'd find you(whooooooooo)

Now ya gone, what am I gonna do
so, empty
my heart, my soul can't go on
Go on baby without you....
rainy days fade away
when you come around
say your here to stay
with me boy
I don't want you to leave me I
I need you

Never knew what I was missin'
But I knew once we start kissin'
I found
Love
Never knew what i was missin'
but i knew once start kissin'
I found
Love
never knew what i was missin'
i knew once we start kissin'
Love

ps : sooner or later i will go..

2008-10-20T06:50:00.004+08:00

' Yesterday, went library with Azimah. When i was fliping over some magazine.

I saw someone that i have been trying to forget all this years. Gosh.

Well by just looking at ur face, make me easier to see the past we been together.

He's the best that ever been for me. But he choose to leave.

Fak. I don't want to talk about it. It just hurting me.

Nevertheless , congrats to you and crew.

You did it , didnt you? - marc arna

something that i really didnt expect to be coming from her
eventhough its been years that i left
but its still fresh in her mind
i left someone that's there for me..
im gg through what's she's gg through
i deserve it
- karma -

ps : happy belated bday to you!

2008-10-20T05:15:00.000+08:00

let the people know whose the real fx really is..

cos i dont need the ppl in fx now to act like as if they're

with or without my concern , the fact is fx ain't active

im not gonna use the word dead , cos im aint

but the truth is fx aint working without me or maybe you

but i will be glad the name fx is still running but dont blame me

if i aint gonna appreciate the dancers as it is..

ling fir and dada.. the ones that i will count on..

and to some ppl.. i guess promises are meant to be broken for you..

but hell.. u have my support.. we will wait and see..

whatever it is no point winning without its own effort..

boring..

and ling if you're reading this , i've got my own plans

quickly finish up the dancebeatz shits and you know i know baybeh!

*winks*

2008-10-20T05:13:00.000+08:00

Ever heard of "Love Is Blind?"
Love is... in my opinion, blinding....
Sometimes we become better as a person, sometimes not...
Sometimes love teaches us to be patient, sometimes love brings out the worst in you.
Which brings me to my point today....

Love always brings out the worst in people..
You may not realize it, but people who's not involved can see...
You may deny but u cannot be blamed coz u don't realize it...
Your priorities in life suddenly changed...
All that you used to hold on to so tightly is being compromised...
All that you said u would never do, you did...
But thats Love...
Love is Blind, Love is Blinding, Love is Complex....

However, there are times when we watch and can just tell,
its a disaster.... the relationship that is....
When a partner acts the way they did, thinking that protecting their loved ones will make things right... or is the right thing to do...
Interfering in ur partners problems is never the solution... Advising is....

I've seen many broken marriages...
The duration of ur relationship means nothing...
Its what u share and communicate thats important...
Years of marriage and a few kids later, ur relationship can just end up in the gutters...

Oh yar, did i mention, personal attacks on the World Wide Web is the ultimatum 4 me?
Its childish, immoral and simply uncalled for....
I'm the hero that protect my partner from an internet attack by some anonymous person....
Hah... get a life... replying to an anonymous person who obviously wants to create trouble is just as good as talking to the damn wall...
Also never get involved in ur partner's friends to friends problems on the net...

Befor you say anything, please reflect on yourself... cause usually what you say about others is an exact replica of who you are. You call others childish but reality is so are you.
You call people rude and bitchy, well, sorry but so are you...
The fact of the matter is is that no one is perfect.....
Especially yourself...
As Love will make us do incredibly stupid things....

To sum things up, Love is super duper complex...
Really makes u do what u would never had thought about...
Leave behind some important things/people...
Do some irrational stuff for what WE THINK is the best thing to do for our partner...

So do a little bit of reflection before you make a decision....

Well, everyone has their own opinions, views...
If you agree with this, i'm glad...
If you don't, this are my views...

2008-10-15T17:41:00.002+08:00

as the days goes by i wish real hard that there's no continuation to the post below

but i guess its just my 'luck' to face all this and nothing else but to suffer

i've regret enough of my mistakes to you and i've promise myself nothing will repeat again

and its a goal to me and whenever i call it a goal , i have to achieve it

and my goal are nothing else but to be the best for you , mell

i bet the incident that happen at la mode was the worst that i've ever had

truth is i really can't let u go and it really hurts seeing you contacting someone else

and to make it worst that person is attached. and it dissapoint me more

how would you feel when someone did that to your guy? i bet you burst even more

maybe to you that guy is honest, understanding and whatever shit

face the real world darling

honest? he wouldnt have 'naughty-ing' (-.-) with you when he's bf is away..

understanding? yes of course..

ppl call it honeymoon period and its not even 1 month u know him

to make things worst you made a promise to me that you will NEVER contact any guy

or to be exact getting to know anyone but why should you be heartbroken when he's attached?

come on lah dont u feel guilty when you told him that ure fucking heartbroken?

what a shame , sigh

never met him before but only at the party

but you guys met twice

never talk on the phone but just msg

end up missing his voice

haiz. totally wtffffff!

you're fucking 19 to think mell not 9. and i bet his old enough to think also..

no wonder gay community is a trash. blame this kind of ppl..

dont even have the respect for its own kind..

oh god there's alot more to be mention.. but why should i bother?

no point thinking when youre not the one they care about

and again , another wastage. sry but fuck you..

ive been having fever for the last few days and i couldnt even answer any calls
at the same time ive been thinking hard about dancebeatz cos i really want it
and so i did msg them about the pract that i wanted to make
but afterall another plain wastage
nothing else that i could do but to see them achieve something at the end of the day
and to the people that have been searching for me im trully sorry that i didnt get back to you guys. i just need my time and im too weak for anything else
and to you.. sry i didnt reply your msg cos i was really sick..
but no worries i will get back to you okaye? n imissyoutoo..
i just got the feeling that im not gg for jalan raya this saturday
and nothing can help but just the tears that drops..
for 3 days now i've been shivering to sleep at the sametime looking at my phone
nonstop that mell would msg me. but i guess its just a dream for me now
the medicine for me now is just him.. a simple msg or a call sounds better..
i terribly miss him and sigh.. its just him that i want now..

MELL

i hope you're doing well now without me disturbing your life anymore
and i know it makes your life soo much better but whatever it is
i have to accept the fact that its reza that you care about now
i accept that and that's the reason why i chose to leave everything behind..
but please remember what i told you kaye , sayang?
i dont want people to blame you for any reason if anything happens
and take care of urself wherever you are
im sorry for the harsh words and the harsh acts
im just too care for you
i've forgotten everything of what happened..
dont mind the earlier paragraph cos its just something that i need to let it out
and thats why i made this private cos i dont want ppl to know but only you me and ling
if you're reading this baby.... im suffering without you......
my days and nights are to just wait for you to comeback..
even how hard they try to make me happy.. but i guess its only you who can make it happen. but i know now you totally dont want me anymore..
but i just want you to know , i thank you for everything..
for everything that you did to make me happy all this while..
its time for you to be happy ok?
last but not least ,
your clothes are my company for the night
your clothes are my towel for my tears

imissyou , boo...

2008-10-10T06:51:00.004+08:00

its never been this tough
too critical for me till it gets out of hand
yes, i did a huge mistake and you kept it too long till this happened
never once i force you too keep it but you chose too
till now then you give up on everything
it takes months for me to make you suffer everything
but it only takes a few days for you to ruined everything
but still im the worse. even worse then your ex bf
i've got nothing i know

some say i should just give up
some say i shouldn't
some even say you're not the one for me

things have been uber worse than ever but i've think it through
firstly, why should i give up now and not earlier of the months?
as much as youre suffering bcos of me im feeling it too
maybe certain stuff i can give up
but giving up on you is the last thing i would (never) do
that only death will make it happen
and i dont take love easily
im aint like any other guys that will only make you like a touch and go machine
or even worse a retribution or a revenge tool

maybe to you 14 months is just a freaking 14 days
oh! maybe i left something out like some people say
' mell have been suffering with you since the 3rd month
when you guys are together and his never happy after that '
without thinking further tears drop just like a swell
all this while you're with me just bcos of sympathy?
or maybe bcos of giving me time? (bullshit)
or even worse youre being with me just for the sake of being with me?
come on lah just stop that bullshit of the reason that you always give
ive never fail to ask you if youre sincerely in love with me
and your answer? ' DONT ASK STUPID QUESTION '
so look whose the one whose being stupid and dumb now?
or maybe you're just proud of your achievement of 'TAHANING MY PERANGAI'
congrats and around of applause for our one n only, MELL -.-

i've tried 1000 ways to leave you
i've tried 1000 ways to avoid you
i've tried 1000 ways to forget you
but it only take me 1 reason to be with you

you're my first true love
too much we've been through till i guess some ppl if just sick and tired of it
and that includes you
maybe gg through the hardship together is just a burden to you
but its a challenge for me cos i wanna go far with you
the challenges that we've been is never easy
be it family be it friends be it politics be it case of the ex be it money wise..
too much to be mention but never once regret it
you held me up

being with you completes my life
being with you completes me
being with you turnin me into a better person
being with you just make my life perfect
being with you just what i've wanted

to be continued...

2008-09-29T02:40:00.004+08:00

i've made the decision to be far away
deep inside only god knows how dreadful it is
but im doing it bcos i dont want mell to suffer anymore
ive made a mistake by giving him the worse out of me
cos my initial deeds is to let him encounter the worse out of me first
and have the best till the end
but it seems that i have to leave the best to no where
cos im the worse boyfriend/friend that he ever had
and i dont wanna make him cry anymore

ISMAEL KHAN SURATTEE
the best soul for me that its too hard
for me to accept the fact that i need to let go
i've never regret all the times spent cos i know you're all i wanted
even if im the worse boyfriend that you ever had
maybe all the dreams of the best for you is long gone
but deep inside i will still keep the best for you
cos thats my goal and i've yet to achieve it
im left with nothing but only the memories that will only make me cry
maybe i deserve this and a lesson to be learn and i accept it
but nevertheless , the memories will always be kept n never i will forget it
let my tears be my company from now on cos i know i cant move on
truth is im weak
even if i were to be the biggest bitch and make ur life miserable
it wasnt me

as much as im looking forward for raya its all meaning-less now
the white kurung is just a meaning-less suit
the least i could do is to imagine everytime im out for raya that you are there
definitely tears will drop when takbir is up
and all are left with me now is just the raya song that will only makes me weaker
tears will be my company for raya and everything else

to worsen it , raya falls on our anniversary...
im too weak to rant but the best i could do now is
to keep myself away from everything
mum saw me cried and to my surprise she know thats im having a rough time with him
and i thought the situation gonna be worse since she know it
but instead she made me a cup of milo and said this..
' i know you're scared that i know whats gg on but to see you cry will only show how much it meant to you. i will keep this to myself as long as you know what you're doing. ' ( translated )
and by then the tears is unstoppable..
i thank you for understandin mum
you make me stronger. yet im still as weak as ever..

and mell from the bottom of my heart im trully sorry for the past
please forgive me and thanks for everything that you did for me
please take care of yourself and i wanna see you do well in dance
but most importantly please take care of mami..
cos she's like my mum too..
u may not see that but thats the reason why i never fail to ask about her
and i really appreciate that she trust me to look after you
but now.. i dissapoint her in a way i hurt you..
how can i not feel useless when all i did was the worse..

Ya Allah
please stop this tears please..
and please look after him for me
and not forgetting his family..

2008-09-27T03:44:00.006+08:00

25 Sep 08, 16:46

MELL: omg u missed me? guess what.. i MISSED YOU TOO LAH! club again tgt want? hehehehehe!

ALLAH i really thank you for letting me see the truth
and that period of time i was perfectly with him
and yet he did this to me for other guys
sigh.. n he thought im not gonna read that guy blog
to think of it why can't u just reply him at your blog?
yes u did but its a different reply
at your blog tryin so hard to cover
and no wonder u just left me alone at dblO
just to be with him
MELL IF YOU WANT SOMEONE ELSE
TELL ME STRAIGHT TO THE POINT
PLEASE!
so i won't be disturbing your life anymore..

and i wonder when the hell did you go club with him..
haiz..
and i still yet to know who is REZA
a different guy that i found out
maybe i sound to bothered but the truth is
is purely jealousy
cos why? i dont need to tell..
n its so fast of you of changing your friendster and hotmail password
sigh

sayang , i may have hurt you alot
but please im begging you if you really have someone else
in mind to get then please tell me the truth
cos i will let you move on and thats when i realise you dont need me anymore
and i will go for sure..
please dont leave me stranded..

ps : i wonder why this tears just couldnt stop...

2008-09-27T02:44:00.001+08:00

i do have my own reasons why i make it private
which i don't see a need for you to know
yet only the trusted one's will know
cos they deserve to..

SHAHRUL
it really saddens me
about a friend that i really didn't expect it to be coming
its just sooo dissapointing
one question , WHAT DID I DO TILL YOU HAVE TO GO THIS FAR?!
just that simple question
u say im a hypocrite , 2 face and everything bad that describes me
even mael my ex bf agree with that.. like u say it..
one thing , DO YOU KNOW ME WELL?
maybe mael agrees with you thats why u can be soo confident
there's alot of stuff been coming from you about me
I SWEAR I WONDER WHY
did i disturb your life?
did i steal away ur bf?
did i steal ur parents money?
did i take ur frens away from you?
did i kill ur family?
just too much of your actions that keep me wondering..
and if you think my recent blog post is for you
then too bad but for sure it wasn't for you
i won't even care to update about you
just a waste of my time
and friend , people have eyes to see , ears to hear , heart to feel
and definitely BRAINS TO THINK
maybe now i let you win
one reason , i dont deal with a young kid like you
but i believe god is fair enough
sooner or later ur attempt will fail
without me doing anything
karma people call it
that's when the words that you said to me will all hit you back
now you can blindfold people with your words
but never in the future they gonna trust you anymore..

MAEL
i give up on you..
its really heartbreaking to know the truth from you
call me hypocrite , 2 face or whatsoever
let the whole world know but
one thing for sure , if we are meant to be together
then im willing to welcome you back anytime
if not then i will never regret the times i had with you
cos the truth is , you're the one for me baby..

2008-09-24T18:50:00.001+08:00

i will have my part when you decided to replace me with someone else...

2008-09-24T14:45:00.003+08:00

yes im smiling again but deep inside..
only HE knows..
no more rebound please..

2008-09-23T00:48:00.004+08:00

damn that bangla for making me crave for yoghurts

that will only increase my metabolism -.-
ps : at the sametime imagine when they pronounce ' yoghurts '

on the other hand there's something that really bothers me
main topic , typical boy acting class
you know its really a sad thing seeing someone trying their best to be class
whereby actually their parents are selling vegetables at the market
mainly people whose trying so hard to show people on how vogue they are
in the prada gucci and lv kind of shit
i wonder what are they thinking
having any of the brands on hands issnt a big deal for me
you may assume that i cant afford
but i dont care cos for sure i know i would oready have a wardrobe of it
even more than you do if i want to
just imagine either a typical malay , chinese or indian boy keeps bragging
on how vogue they are with the branded handbags or anything
whereby actually they're one of those who ask their parents $10 bucks everyday
it wouldnt be a big deal if you urself are not too fool of urself of being proud
of it when it doesnt even come by ur own effort
afterall youre in singapore people
this is what i call feeling mau lebih
and also not to forget boys/guys in hotpants!
i seriously dunnoe what you people thinking
yes u can do whatever you want but there's always a limit to everything
just think , when people laugh at you , you will go hell about it
stupid issnt it? well you deserve it though
i call it attention seeker and a bunch of clowns

i do have my own reason of why im not ready
i seriously didnt thought the way you take charge can be this bad
at first i fully trust you and thats the reason why i choose to dance with you
but afterall its just the mainpage for the start
infact the way you take charge is even worse than someone i knew
and im doing this for the sake of someone
and i dont intend to go far for this comp
cos i just cant work with someone who only thinks about himself

ps : anyone wanna accompany me for a movie? =D

2008-09-19T19:29:00.000+08:00

without me realising i spent 15k in 1 month

and i've got eyes to witness

afterall im very very happy

to add on to it we're back on track

2008-09-17T04:06:00.000+08:00

if you thought being us is easy

then i suggest you think twice

its never as easy as you see

and u never wanna know what we've been through

2008-09-17T04:01:00.000+08:00

the recent show we had at heeren =))

2008-09-15T18:27:00.000+08:00

just woke up after 20 hours of sleepin which i accidentally miss sahor
and mum thought i was dead when she woke me up for sahor
cos i didnt even react to anything and its shows how much i need a sleep
2 days before spent the whole night with my dancers and mell
it felt soooo much better after meeting them cos afterall they're the one's that i need
after watching the apple show went to tamp with mell to meet my dancers
which eventually lasted for 15 hours and none of us fast due to JW. ~ geez
mell and me left at 4pm and rush home to get our stuff ready
and reach heeren at 6pm for show. imagine that -.-

' how would you feel when you're in a relationship and your partner still taking the chance for someone else or even worse their own friends and to add on to it ' if they dare for their own friends , how about the others? '
extracted from a french movie which really makes me bleed

or maybe im just a jealous man

should i be jealous? obviously

and a piece of advice for the ones in a relationship
never trust your partner fully
they can look perfect in your eyes but their actions that they did
without you knowing might just makes you bleed
its better to look bad in other ppl eyes but never look good
when actually ure the worse nightmare
cos afterall the truth will come and mine just did
and im happy to know that

but still im still waiting for it to come again
which i guess will never be
030807 will forever be a memory
that i really want it back <3

2008-09-13T07:23:00.002+08:00

im much delighted to receive a comment from my tagboard
especially from this person called J**N
go look at the tag. seems happy huh?
and im very happy to inform you about this

Visit Date/Time IP Address Country Browser OS Screen Color
250168739 Sep/13/2008
07:02:30 adsl165.dyn229.pacific.net.sg Singapore Firefox Windows XP 1024x768 32 bit
Referrer: =)

Visit Date/Time IP Address Country Browser OS Screen Color
250138880 Sep/13/2008
05:50:20 220.255.7.205 Singapore Firefox Windows XP 1280x800 32 bit
Referrer: =)

and there u go. ((= u think u can run away? and yeah im sure to know you too
i told you. you're messing with the wrong blogger. =))

ps: report gonna be out soon

2008-09-13T03:37:00.003+08:00

Siti Nurhaliza - Kesilapan Ku, Keegoan Mu

Besar kesilapanku besar lagi kesilapanmu
Hampa yang kau rasakan hampa lagi perasaanku
Kau cuba menyatakan aku
Menbuat kesilapan
Yang tak mungkin kau maafkan lagi
Ku tak mungkin kau perlu di sisi

Besar kesalahanku besar lagi keegoanmu
Berkali ku beri alasan berkali-kali kau menolaknya
Kau ingin ku menyatakan
Diri ini bagai lilin
Dan terbakar oleh perbuatanmu

Suasana sepi kini menambahkan bening
Di dalam hatiku
Mengadil silapmu biar di jiwamu aku telah tiada
Di waktu begini diusik kenangan silam
Yang bertandang
Lalu ku biarkan
Ia menabahkan hati ini

Kekasihku cukup engkau buat ku begini
Luka ini usah engkau berdarahkan kembali
Aku masih cinta padamu
Aku masih setia padamu
Kembalilah engkau padaku seperti dahulu

Di dalam rindu ku menangis
Di dalam kalbu ku terasa
Teringatmu di kala derita
Yang memisahkan kita

Di dalam sedu ku berseru
Yang terukir di dalam hatiku
Kekasih bukalah pintu
Untuk sekali ini
Aku cinta kepadamu

ps: a song for me from you

2008-09-13T03:00:00.002+08:00

' should i ? '

2008-09-13T02:31:00.002+08:00

the conversation i had with someone the other night

' you know sometimes i feel like running away from him
cos the pain sometimes its just too much for me to bear
and its really hard for me to maintain this relationship
but i admire you and mell cos you both went through so much
together and i hope i can be strong and go through all of that
im going through now... '

' haiz yup im tryin to keep myself sane cos its just hard to like
trust him cos of others gals and stuff and you noe there's always
that issue and im so paranoid.. '

' somemore he's reluctant to bring me out whenever she's around
i mean as in go out with his friends. somemore all his friends know
me and they are like my friends. sigh. thats why sometimes i dun
understand they say they love you and all but actions shows otherwise.. '

and i really do feel that someone. cos in some parts its hitting me too. ~ very
but somehow now i'll just go along with the flow and somehow im tryin my best
to move on. but still stuck. and i believe soon enough i will go away eventhough
im still txting and requestin for a meet up cos i know its my last bits with you..

and to that someone :

hold on there. and i believe you can

remember what i told you

we're in the same boat in some parts

if i can do it. so can you

okayes?

2008-09-12T13:53:00.002+08:00

schedule's packed for dance

ppl have been asking about fx's updates

some i dont even know them

which i really appreciate

and so here's the update..

September : Code:Edge08 ( No Idea )

November : Lime Sonic Bang 2008 Vivo City ( FX CREW )

Raffles Country Club DnD show ( FX CREW )

Breathe Dance Beatz NHLC HipHop Dance ( FX CREW )

December : Home Club FYP show ( FX CREW )

and so that's it for now. will update when there's an add on. =))

2008-09-11T04:06:00.004+08:00

been contradicted
the post below is well enough to explain
really look into it and it clearly shows im letting loose
on the things that i think never an ending
totally doom by the fact that the truth really do hurts
when im trying to apply to your deeds ~ adapting
tasted my own medicine way before i made a move on you
it took me 3 years to really grow the tree ~ again
when i finally found the best roots for a lifetime which is you
and indeed it was healthy

whereby some people told us that it was too healthy till it just have to rot a lil

which i agree ~ too comfortable

but its the matter of fact whether u can bare with all the things that's coming

and i really mean ALL the things. ~ be it the rain , sun , thunder and basically all the disasters

cos in the first place u made your choice to your own roots

to make it short , the roots started to rot , completely

- DONE -

2008-09-09T04:00:00.000+08:00

in life there's a point that you just need yourself and no one else
but indeed you do need someone that understands you super well
no matter how down you're for sure you will still need someone to be there
to be with you , to cry with and basically just there by your side and make things better
sometimes you just can't find the cause of it that leads you to that situation
the common causes like relationships , family , friends and money
but some just can't figure out what's the cause when things are going well
and i'm one of them
sometimes i will just have this feeling of giving up
sometimes i just feel as useless as not making any difference to anyone
sometimes i feel there's no point of me living when i just can't save the life cost
but i just can't figure out why im feeling that way
family is there for me , perfectly
friends are there too , be it the true ones or the plastics
dance is somehow going well cos the hardwork and effort is there
the cost is somehow shaky but still managable
but most importantly that someone is there
but still i just couldn't find the clue to it
to be continued..

2008-09-08T10:33:00.002+08:00

i've realised something that i really adore

that one picture tells a whole lot of a story

i may not know alot but definitely a handful

that leads me to blog about it

not much but just something that i respect

they're the first 4 and still standing strong as 4

from what i personally think

they stood up wayyyy better as 4 with no less or more

the spirit is always alife

KARMA.SUTRA

2008-09-06T04:57:00.000+08:00

FX CREW will be competing at the Youth Revolution 2008
on Saturday 6 September which is today

it will be held at ; Tampines Mall Level 4 Open Plaza
2pm-7pm. Dancers will be Aimm Mael Ling Andreas n Wardah

Please come down if you're free and show some love

not forgetting to the finalists of Suntec Dance08. All the best!

2008-09-06T04:03:00.000+08:00

yesterday , we went to the fish spa for leisure
not exactly we went but it was a coincidence
that we wanna try it out
it was cool and nice
and would be more
effective if we would stay longer
that ticklish feeling and its somehow relaxin
if only the store in charge is not
that manopause lady. geez
and we're so tryin it out again at a better place
other than that we had a great try out
and all of us didn't fast for the day
includin lee and mira. jeng
did some window-ing and bought adidas sticks for free
how stupid an ah-lian can be
NLB-ed and tong seng later at night
proceed straight to ip for pract and im uber shagged by then
slept less than an hour the day before
and had to be out at 6.30am but still im late by an hour

besides that those people just have to make my day

and its the green day for most of us

and to that someone you're being love by me big time , jeng!

2008-09-04T05:57:00.002+08:00

at the same time i got to find out that we're featured at the podcast.sg

you can check it out at http://www.rawclipx.podcasts.sg/

under Lime Funkmeister Dance Challenge08

plus other winners and contestants like Rated PG , Arm , mackilicious and more..

2008-09-04T05:08:00.000+08:00

it took me a few minutes to even recognise him

thanks to my jacket for the help

very abg-abg melayu lah gitu

yet still he look wayyy different

2008-09-04T04:47:00.007+08:00

oh yah! the video's for our finals of the Lime Funkmeister Dance Challenge is out at ~ youtube

just type FX CREW DANCE and voila ~

and do watch the encore uploaded by farisuhaila. lol!

2008-09-04T04:26:00.000+08:00

oh man i just find it sooo typical bullshit when ppl go around tagging at others blog sayin , 'IMY'

yeah its not wrong at all. i dont mind if you at least do something about it

but some will just have say it for the sake of sayin it

to somehow prove that u're not forgotten. geez

come on lah stop acting like as if its been ages since you last met someone

whereby its only few weeks or even worst , days

disgusted ~

ps: but hey dont hesitate to say u miss me aite? hahahaha!

2008-09-04T04:02:00.002+08:00

scheduled for mdc at 8am

ps : uber reluctant

2008-09-03T00:52:00.002+08:00

just when i thought it will be a nice tuesday
after being stuck at home for more than 48 hours
and that feelin is none other than wanting to meet the love one

it went smooth and nice upon the arrival

just like normal and how beautiful it is having you around

and of course to add more to it you broke the news
about the dip that u're taking and you don't know how happy i am

to finally see you succeed or maybe gg to

like i say think positive at all times

and for this i will give you my full support cos i know this is what you really want

the happiness is still there but some things just have to go haywire

i somehow explain to you the reason why i dont wanna be there the next day

by right i chose not to reveal anything

but the words just keep reminding me to not make things worst n just tell

and yes i did

but for that im the one to be blame cos somehow i played around with words

and there you go , the uncountable episode of our drama

i think really hard , is it wrong for me to say what i feel?
you've been dying to know my true deeds

and when i did my part you're unhappy about it

then what's the point of me having you when you just can't face the truth?

and im totally not blaming you for this cos i know u didn't expect that from me
let just give that a pass and for the both of us to have some thoughts for it

i just wish it would just end there when u walk away which i thought we gonna settle it

in a wayyy better manner but it didnt

you took ur anger around and spill it to others but definitely the main victim is me

which i already expect what's gonna happen next by lookin at your actions

revenge never come across my mind and you though it does

that's when i just keep my mouth shut cos i know you have the worst mouth disease

that even no one can even win no matter how hard they try

the intention was to make everything clean and perfect

but you just cant take it

i didnt even give a single fuckin comment when you're handling things

but when it comes to mine , the bulldog is out to attack me

that's when the situation couldn't be save and to add spice to it

negative mindset gained , again

only the witness know's what really happen

you should be lucky that i really despise laying hands on others

and that explains why u're save from it

you can go all out till i bleed but one thing for sure i know its not you

whose gg through it

some say its a good thing

cos that usually happen for serious relationship

but the worse nightmare will only come ones or maybe twice

and this is one of the worst nightmare that we're gg through now

which i really hope it will be a lesson to be learn for the both of us

and not just cry for sympathy

and just end everything

that's not the way i want and i know it goes the same to you

which i just take this a lesson to be learn and a steppin stone

but definitely a curse to us

ilu baby <33

2008-09-02T07:54:00.001+08:00

im getting use to it now

ppl not sticking to their own words

and will go hell about it when being criticize

and my deeds will just have to let it go

and let them realise when something happen

to them and really knock some sense into their head

and that's when they will stop blaming other's

and act smart no more at the same time

learn to settle things with no anger

and stop reacting like one ' hungry stray dog '

attacking with no particular reason

just to make themselves feel good ~

2008-09-02T07:40:00.002+08:00

in life its not necessary to totally vanished the old one's when you have the new
especially when that old one ever made an impact in your life
and always there for you and also the one that help you most of the times
but something went wrong in some parts and that's when it became a used to now
but definitely never gonna be forgotten

' they once said it will be the best duo on stage and yeah we're still learnin and will be back , hopefully '

2008-09-01T06:47:00.000+08:00

' the more i learn , the more i love ' - aimm

you're the one who taught me and you're the one that i can't stop loving

<3 030807

2008-09-01T06:09:00.002+08:00

life is full of endurance and one of it is here
the month of respect and true lives challenges
make you realise on how lucky you're
and be much grateful of what you're having now

SELAMAT BERPUASA!

2008-08-30T07:53:00.002+08:00

ps : he lost his way while cycling down the alley selling berita harian

anyone kind enough to pick him up?

deal with me and you will get the reward
<3

2008-08-30T07:05:00.001+08:00

Lernie Rahayu - Muhammad Fairus

Saturday , 30 August 2008

Long live and lead a happy life ahead

one of my deepest friend

which i relate them as a blood

Congratulations!

2008-08-29T04:16:00.000+08:00

it feels so much betta after a cup of hot milo

all thanks to ' sutini ling ' cousin

or i will keep on polluting the air

coated with the waste of the house tissue

along with the apple dippers

i swear nose blocked is one of the most dreadful irritants

as usual mell with his blackie and ling with her never ending dreamland

which i bet mine's gonna come soon. even worse

that's the reason why we're fated to be cousin's. heh

schedule's is up way tighter than before

to worsen it , its during the long run

super hectic. a whole lot of a test

beside's the fact that im occupied with dance

sometimes the issue of school just have to pop out of no where

and its a definite turn off cos it do worries me

but i just can't adapt to that college or maybe its just the boring classmates

or even worse the due-d lecturer's just have to be the cause of it

bmc or mdis? but somehow its a lil too late but heck it isn't

well we will just have to wait and see about that

but one thing for sure , medical check up is next month

maybe servin is what i've got to prioritise first. sigh

that's the part when pussies really should consider themselves lucky

cheque is on the way but please make it faster? the list is growing

there's something that im really worried about but i just can't find the clue to it

maybe time will tell or an incident will happen

2008-08-29T01:26:00.004+08:00

tiong bahru-ed for 48 hours

with ' sutini ' on the right and ' gollum ' on the left

macd and cigg the other company

not forgetting fujitsu

( ps : barang leceh been an irritant )

2008-08-28T01:41:00.001+08:00

' im soo not looking forward for the long run but super anxious for the festival '

- sungguh setan -

2008-08-28T01:14:00.004+08:00

you would never wanna sees me , but you will always look at me

you would never wanna touch me , but you will always wanna feel me

you would never wanna have me , but you will always wanna love me

you would never wanna live with me , but you wanna die with me

you would never wanna assist me, but you will always wanna guide me

you would never wanna ask me , cos my answer for you is to excuse me

2008-08-28T01:10:00.001+08:00

once bitten twice shy

how bullshit can that be

2008-08-26T05:50:00.002+08:00

mind's working , finger's glitching but time's losing

ps : proper update soon

2008-08-26T02:57:00.001+08:00

just when i thought it's gonna end

be it the last or maybe the best

cos i personally think it wasn't smooth

but it was indeed daring yet entertainin

that something to remember

different personalities and attitude

each soul gave its best

physically and mentally

somehow ready

which i think it wasn't enough

everything that we've got gave it's best

but the instinct sense the otherwise

just when i wanted to gave up and just leave

the mindset keeps playin that it was the last

and the worst

but god would just have to prove it wrong

all that instinct's , mindset's and everything

doesn't work this time round

we did an encore at the same time

been crowned as the champion

i guess god really sees the effort and suffering's

that we've been through

all i can say is now , its just the beginning

2008-08-22T14:04:00.004+08:00

i just need my true friends now
and i have decided to just keep it to myself

i would rather suffer on my own

then to express it and worsen the situation

your bitchiness and ur harsh words

will only make me love you more

cos that's the only time that i know u really cared

and my mistakes will go by worsen the situation

by keepin it too much and end up blabberin without thinkin

all this while i do realise. alot

just that i keep it to myself too much

which ain't healthy

that i know there's someone whose there to hear me cry

which i hope its issn't too late for me to do that
im doom

nevertheless , you're still deep in me

infact i dont even know me no more

2008-08-21T00:38:00.002+08:00

and i swear nothing else can stop me from loving you

you wouldn't wanna take the risk

it may come but we faced the toughest

maybe some know's how bad it can be

never cross the line

cos u might never wanna marry the weelchair

i can go that far. :) ilu baby!

2008-08-21T00:30:00.001+08:00

* its super duper cool having your own cousin dancin in the same crew . random -.-"

2008-08-19T20:55:00.001+08:00

' n now my aim is to only commit for mum and nothing else. the only person whom i respect n appreciate me without any hesitation. ilu '

2008-08-19T20:38:00.002+08:00

blood ever told me never to give it all to water

cos somehow you will only need water when u need them

but as for blood you need it everytime

i've never wanted to commit for blood

to be exact i just can't

i choose water instead

water been living in the outside world and been there

both blood and water saw the inner and outter of me

but blood never fails too

alot of things got me thinking

but i didn't show

no point if its for the worst

but somehow its getting out of hand

and that's when i realise blood is ever thicker than water

2008-08-19T19:58:00.000+08:00

' the instinct is telling me to have some space but the heart doubt so ' - aimm

2008-08-18T17:40:00.002+08:00

once again i would like to congratulate FX CREW for making it to the finals

finally i can say im proud of us for our own effort

we made it baby! <3

2008-08-18T17:33:00.003+08:00

' i start a new with so no more past ' - <3

and i so dig that . hoping for you to be true to your own word's

2008-08-18T15:04:00.001+08:00

the industry is getting tougher

new challenger popping out of no where

becoming one of the strongest

and of course it bother's me alot

cos i myself ain't strong enough

more to learn and rebuilt better idea's

but sometimes being in the same league

as your own cliques ain't great

one thing for sure

im super competitive

i bet who doesn't right?

no one wanna look stupid on stage

but still how competitive i can be

i don't mine sharing the idea's and stuff

cos i don't wanna be selfish yet arrogant

somehow it's getting out of hand

if your own cliques are one of the challenger

is keeping too low to reveal

looking like as if you can't be trusted

and one of the biggest biter's around

in the end you're way better than them

even if they are i assume they did nothing

watch n learn is different

from choreographing teach and organise

to be exact handling the crew

i've never wanted to react this way

but im just being fair :)

sometimes i wish i got my own choreographer

but somehow im proud to win with my own effort

well like i say if u feel it too bad it's you

which i don't know who